Archive for the ‘Goddesses’ Category

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An early graduation present!

December 19, 2010

So in the midst of all the craziness of our lives… my husband was invited to San Francisco to give a talk. I was so worried it would interfere with my graduation… but everyone was accommodating. Thank you!

You see the last time I “walked” for one of my degrees was 1976!

I now have a BS, MS, MA and EdS and it is for this degree that I was willing to participate in a public ritual – not of my design!

And it was wonderful! Both the trip before and the experience of being hooded for this accomplishment.

Feeling so very grateful as we wax towards the winter solstice!

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Our Lady of Guadalupe

December 11, 2008

In the late spring of 2004, a few months after my father died, I dreamed of the desert and woke up with the scent of pinion smoke in the air and sand between my toes. I flew to Albuquerque, rented a car and took the Turquoise trail – passing through Madrid, NM staying at a lovely hacienda in Santa Fe, dining at the community table at Cafe Pasquale, and then off to Georgia O’Keefe landscapes.

In the middle of this journey, I met a woman who told me I must go to Chimayo – and there she appeared to me – our lady – and she held me and comforted me – and I knew I would survive the grief that weighed so heavily on my heart.

Blessings and Ave Maria

Affirmations for this Moon:
A new answer is waiting for me.
I can see the invisible path.
My hand finds the secret door.
I create unforeseen possibilities.



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Spiral Dance

September 23, 2008
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Voices from the Circle

August 3, 2008

I found a dissertation the other day – entitled Voices from the Circle: Women’s Ritual Art. I am slowly savoring it and reading through – all the while basking in the imagery created by the author – Lynn Carol Henderson. Visit her Enigma Art Studio and see for yourself.

She answers a question I ask myself all the time – why do we persistently seek evidence for a time when the goddess reigned and our lives were earth centered – even when we know that this pre-history doesn’t exist in the written word? and the scholarship surrounding this search is at times questionable?

Judith Ochsborn believes that the determined feminist search of pre-history for non-oppressive spiritual alternatives [is motivated by] a desire to look to the past in order to  assess whether male domination and female subordination were, indeed, natural caused by our genes, or our stars, as accepted scholarship contended. If, however, the origins of male dominance could be traced to specific times and places, if it had not prevailed in all societies, then one might envision a future without it.

Lynn also educates me on a very basic theological difference of which I was ignorant! In the Dianic traditions – the Goddess contains within her both male and female aspects – so She is enough. In Traditional Wiccan theology – there is a recognition of both male and female aspects – Green Woman joins with Green Man.

Not having been raised in this tradition – and coming to these ideas from archetypal psychology – I have been puzzled with the vehemence with which women can deny and negate men and the male aspects of themselves as something that is “other.” Knowing the theological underpinnings helps me understand.

And with my Jungian orientation which relies on the archetype of the Shadow – I  understand my lack of resonance and connection with women’s groups whose remedy is to be as devotedly sexist and anti-male as they accuse men of being towards women. Increasing the split and widening the divide isn’t the answer.

For me the answer is in the both/and of men and women – women and men – and the even larger issues of privileged and non-privileged. The mindless, unconscious, oppression of the world that those of us who belong to the the dominant group inflict on others is as harmful and perhaps more invisible than the harm inflicted by men on women.

As Clarissa Pinkola Estes teaches in her Theatre of the Imagination – men suffer too.

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Learning, Earning, and Giving Back

May 31, 2008

Soon I will be fifty and I have been pondering why that marker seems more significant to the culture and to many people around me than other birthdays that felt much more meaningful to me.

Thirty was an incredible year for me – I completed my masters degree, returned to the valley of the Shenandoah, signed a contract to build a house, and got married!

Forty-four was an important year for me. I quit my job – with nothing to leap towards – and committed to becoming a full time Domestic Goddess. Hestia was calling me and even though I had never even heard of her – she had been keeping her watchful eye on me – sensing that I was ready and then creating the conditions that helped me make my Leap of Faith.

Forty four was also significant because I moved east at twenty-two and somehow always thought I would return to the west at forty four. There was symmetry that seemed significant that I couldn’t see when I was in the midst of it.

By far forty eight was the most transformative year of my life! I am still integrating all the unleashed potentials from that year. In some ways, I imagine that it will take the rest of my life to bring forth all that was revealed in that time between 44 and 48. I have written about this before – my relationship with four – and perhaps that is why fifty doesn’t seem to be a marker year for me.

This morning as I made my rounds around blogland, I dropped in to see Lauren. She is the amazing and gifted and generous and wise and kind and oh-so-much-more! goddess who taught me the art of leather mask making – and she taught me so much more. It isn’t easy being chosen as the one to see. It isn’t easy being the one who must take what is sensed and make it visible for the world. And Lauren embodies those tasks.

Reminds me of the line from David Whyte – 

To be human
is to become visible
while carrying
what is hidden
as a gift to others.

Lauren is an enormous gift in my life… not only because of the the gift she gives others, but in her ability to see and call forth my hidden gifts. She saw me in a way that others often miss. She helped teach me how to make that part of me visible. If you ever have a chance to study with her at Kripalu – seize the moment!

And that brings me full circle to the title of this post: Learning, Earning, and Giving Back and the work of Dana Dakin. Never doubt the amazing hidden gifts that we each carry.

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Paying Attention: Goddess Council

March 31, 2008

I continue to revel in the expansiveness of my life. Freed from my self-imposed duties and responsibilities of tending multiple sacred fires, I am tending my own fire.

Hestia and I have been spending time in the kitchen – reactivating the sourdough starter and making bread on our hearthstone.

Artemis is connecting with her sisters and enjoying spending time outside.

Aphrodite brought out the watercolors and pencils and paper and is busily dancing through the house singing as she clears clutter and creates beauty.

Hera is checking in on our marriage and doing some powerful connecting.

Demeter is basking in the knowledge that our boy’s heart is filled with the love of a girl (and her family).

Persephone is feeling queenly and confident in our courage to brave the underworld each winter.

Athena is finally allowing the other aspects of me to join her in her relentless pursuit of resources, knowledge, information, and ideas.

This morning – I received an email with a link to this incredible video. I am not familiar with TED: Ideas Worth Spreading – but I plan to spend some time there. The video I viewed is of Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor. She speaks of her powerful transcendent experience while suffering from a stroke. If you are familiar with Angeles Arrien’s practice of paying attention to what has heart and meaning – you will want to watch this. If you practice saying YES! in your life – you will want to watch this. So much of the news is filled with fear. This is an antidote to the nightly news.

Jill Bolte Taylor: My stroke of insight

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Two Years and Twelve Thousand Messages

February 21, 2008

For two years – my life has been full with my daily writing and interaction in a group of women – seeking the divine feminine within ourselves. I have learned more about myself in those relationships than I thought would be possible in a lifetime. In a condensed and compressed form – we have spiraled up and down and around and back again – members coming and members going and the core of us keeping the fire tended.

  • I no longer want to be the one who keeps the fire tended.
  • I am ready to let others tend fires of their own.
  • I no longer want to be the leader, the facilitator, the decision maker.
  • I am ready to let others make decisions that affect me.
  • I no longer want to take responsibility for the group process.
  • I am ready to be a member – watching and silently listening.

The underworld of me is stirring – again – and in the inner world convulsions – I am taking a risk – I am letting go of something that has been part of my life – every day for twenty four months (except when I was traveling without internet access).

In the life death life cycle of a group – how does one know the work is done and it is time to let it die so that space is created for new adventures? I really have no earthly idea! But I had a hunch it was coming to an end when I stopped adding new members. In some of our recent interactions with new members, I realized I didn’t have the patience anymore to do the work. I was done, done, done… Stick a fork in me I am done, done, done. I jumped the shark!

I am on the cusp. I was born on the cusp and because of that – and probably lots of other reasons – I live at the threshold and it is the place I feel most challenged, most alive, and most vulnerable. I am on one of those thresholds right now – and I have a strange sense of calm. Either I will be accepted into the program – or I won’t. Either way – whether I am admitted and begin the journey towards a new life of service – or if some other hidden opportunity is about to show up – I feel a need to create space. Letting go of this symbolic and important part of my life is creating a womb – a place to incubate and grow something new.

Last night, I dreamed of buying seeds. I have two garden plots – one in my own yard and one in a community garden plot across from our high school. In the dream – I was selecting seeds that I wanted to grow – the big expansive, vining, spreading plants in the garden by the school and the delicate, pretty, impractical, but lovely plants in my private garden. I didn’t even remember the dream until I called my husband at work to tell him what I was going to do about the group. He agrees the timing is right and seems surprised that I can let go so easily. I am in a bit of a state of shock too that I can let go – at all – let alone – with confidence that the timing is right. I feel twinges if regret for those who think they are not ready to fledge – but I know they will soar!

Last night I read this short vignette:

“Come to the edge, he said.

They said: We are afraid.

Come to the edge, he said.

They came.

He pushed them and they flew.”

~~~Apollinaire

One of the women asked me if I was running away – and I realized that I was running towards. Towards other experiences – some in groups – some one on one – and some in solitude. I have missed my solitude the last couple of years. The space that is opening will be partly filled with a return to art, writing, and reading – and of course working the land and letting the land work me.

Perhaps I will return and write here!

Perhaps not!