Finding my Heilig Guides

Last night I dreamt of Sabina Wyss. If you practice dreamwork where you look at all the parts and people of the dream as aspects of your larger Self – than it would be the Sabina of me that I dreamt of. I don’t speak German – never studied it – my mother-in-law was Swiss so I did hear her speak it on occasion. Recently I have been dreaming in foreign languages – Spanish – I hear this all around me in my community – so this seems “reasonable.” Ha! What is “reasonable about the dream maker? But German? What is this? I could hear Sabina saying the word Heilig and in my dream I wondered what that was and then she literally spelled it out for me. The letters appeared H E I L I G and they floated in the air around her. So here is the dream…

Sabina and I are at a mountain retreat with some other women. Sabina is talking to us about an experience she just had out on the mountain. She was hiking when a woman spirit guide materialized and began to tell her of the ways of her people. She said she came from the Heilig people. Sabina encouraged us to walk the land to see who we would encounter.

I stepped outside into a rocky, mountainous area – it reminded me of a cross between forested, high altitude Colorado and the Atlantic City, WY banded iron formations. I began to wander in the woods – I was thinking of the poem “Lost” by David Wagoner where he says you can return to this place by saying “here.”

I said “here” and was transported to a spot where there was a large, iron steam locomotive, lying on its side in a pile of weeds – rusting away in this peaceful place. I continued to wander until I came to a clearing where there was a large expanse of banded iron formation. I stood there feeling the warm sun both on my body and reflected back to me from the rocks. I listened to the wind and enjoyed the serenity and quiet.

I looked up to see a man striding toward me. He began to interrogate me about my “education.” I felt defensive and started to rattle off my academic pedigree, BS in geology, MS in geology from Lehigh University. He totally dismissed this education and had never heard of Lehigh. He stomped off. I felt miffed.

Now I am back at the retreat center and we are working with colored pencils. The woman sitting next to me is doing an extremely detailed and fine drawing of something with very exacting pencil marks. She needs brown. I offer her my Neocolor II pencil/watercolors and she complains that the tip is not sharp enough. She needs a fine line. I go off to look for some sort of sharpener.

When I return – everyone is gone, and all the supplies have been put away and my Neocolors are missing. I am looking for them and a woman comes to help me search. We can’t find them. I am sure I had seven of them – teal, blue, green, red, yellow, orange, and brown. She finds them – they are in a cup – but the only colors are yellow and orange. I want all the missing colors.

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It feels a bit vulnerable to put up a dream before I have had time to sit with it. I feel exposed. My everday waking self is trying to talk me out of this! All the more reason to hit the button and publish it!

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Some associations:

I love the area around Chama, New Mexico and Durango, CO and have ridden both of the steam trains. My husband is a HUGE fan of the conservation of steam locomotives so we have visited them all over the place – Perris, CA, Washington, Cass, WV. The locomotive was like one of the large Baldwin engines. The feeling of it rusting away was like it was returning to the earth.

Banded Iron Formations – again iron – and iron in the earth – but I think as I remember BIF are associated with stromatolites. Ancient organisms from a time when the earth’s atmosphere did not contain oxygen. My memory of paleontology is a bit rusty :)

Sabina is one of those rare women who brings out the best in a group just through her sheer presence. She is kind, funny, wise, spiritual, humble, pretty, vivacious, and did I mention kind? She is one of the first people to mentor me and give me advice and kind teachings when I shed my skin and showed up in public for the first time – skinless and vulnerable.

Seven – is a magical number. My first association is seven chakras. But the colors are not those of the chakras. It seems significant to me that I want all the colors and am left with just yellow and orange. Perhaps issues with 2 and 3 chakras?

All the women in the group are supportive and loving and kind except the woman sitting next to me who needs “a fine line.” I see her as the detail keeper of me, the one who uses discernment almost to the point of being obsessively in control. I cannot please her in the dream. I don’t really care to please her – but am interested in giving her the tools she needs ( a sharp, brown, Neocolor crayon) to help her express her vision.

The grumpy, challenging man is one of my inner counselors. I have three – One who challenges me, one who helps me get outside myself to get perspective, and the third one is hiding right now – I cannot remember him.

I send this dream out to my Heilig Guides – thank you for finding me and reminding me of your presence.