New moon caught me by surprise this month

April 5, 2008

What an incredible moon cycle this has been! Letting go to make room. Emptying out with nothing planned to fill the space. Allowing myself to sit with the experience of roominess. All around me I encounter women who are busy, busy, busy! They open their planner or look at the family calendar and say oh yes! let’s get together for tea! I am free… well… let’s see… I have about one hour on Friday and then the next free day I have is… oh dear… let’s look at next month shall we? I feel exhaustion just listening to this. Sometimes I feel the judge of me tap me on the shoulder and tell me “look how much she is accomplishing!” At times we have had titantic struggles about this but now, when she wants to shame me, this judge who expects me to value myself by what I produce, I remind her of the shift that we are choosing – to value ourselves by our relatedness.

Relationships take time. I have time. I choose to make time in my day, my week, my life to be in communion with other people.

One way I am incorporating the need to get stuff done and the need to be in relationship is to lump all my errands into one day – the grocery store, fueling and washing the car, returning books to the library, meetings, appointments, all those things that must be done – get done in one day. During that day – which this week was yesterday – I moved slowly – never rushing – allowing all my senses to encounter the world around me in every step that I took. Feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin, hearing the birds chattering at me when I got too close to their nesting spots, savoring the taste of my mint tea, smelling the strong scent of manure mixed with whiffs of hyacinths and other spring bulbs, and seeing the quality of the light. In addition to paying attention with my senses, I am also paying attention with my heart center.

Friday afternoon in the grocery store may seem like an unlikely place to practice this – but it turns out it is an amazing opportunity to engage with a wide cross section of my community. Anyone who met my gaze, I looked back, allowing a sense of compassion and peace to come up in me and to be transmitted to the other. Most people quickly looked away. Some people looked at me, smiled, and moved on. A few, met me in that social synapse and in that moment our separation disappeared. Part of me wants to delete this whole paragraph – but I am going to let my words stand.

I carried this practice into my hearth space last night – making a meal from simple ingredients with elaborate preparation. Instead of sauce out of a jar, I made sauce from scratch. Instead of shredded cheese, I took blocks of cheese and shredded them. Whole eggs from a local organic farm blended with dried herbs from my summer garden came together into an incredible feast. All who ate at our table last night oohed and aahed and hmmed and ummmed and smacked their lips. Life is truly delectable when we pay attention!

Now this morning as I sit here, I realize that the month has flown by and instead of anticipating and preparing for a new moon council, I have been letting her energy carry me along, trusting her waxing and waning energies to hold me in her loving embrace.

Blessings to you dear Moon Mother!

One comment

  1. What a beautiful rendering of what it means to enjoy the bliss of BEING. It resonated with me so much…and I’m sure with many other women of a certain age…as we learn that the Divinity and Perfection of who we are is not based on what we do at all.

    This was a wonderful New Moon for me personally,,,,and part of that was connecting with you.


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