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Structural Alterations

March 13, 2008

After a couple of weeks of very intense dreams, I sense a softening in their messages to me. I have been thinking a lot about my dream of the concrete floor and the opening that allowed me to see the internal support structure of the house of my Self.

My sense was that the structure (my ego) was functional but not aesthetically beautiful.

For those of you who might be new to this type of dreamwork – the ego I refer to here is the I/ego/everyday self. Dreams always come in service to our greater Self – the larger Self. Dreams are a message from our psyche alerting us to our potentials.

In this dream, I kept hearing the message that there was nothing wrong with these supports, but the “I” in the dream thought they were clumsy and wondered why the original builder of the house hadn’t bothered to make them beautiful.

I was aware that they would never be seen by the owner or occupants of the house – and yet I still was distressed at their lack of elegance. In places, the structure was held together with vices and clamps.

Where do my vices hold the ego of me together? Where am I clamped in my internal structure? Why am I distressed with a part of me that is functional – but not beautiful? The Aphrodite expression of me insists on beauty in my surroundings. In this dream Aphrodite was not allowed expression.

In dream work this week – we talked about ego defenses from childhood and how they are clumsy at times – but they do hold us up. If you are familiar with the loyal soldier subpersonality of Molly Young Brown – those defenses are used to protect our vulnerable child selves. As we grow up and gain mastery and competency in our lives – we no longer need those primitive defenses. Instead, we can develop more elegant ways of maintaining our internal homeostasis while also allowing ourselves to be undefended – a delicate balance of vulnerability and trust in the face of middleworld incursions and challenges.

In the dream there was water damage to the structure – but the structure was sound and didn’t need any redesign from a structural engineer. I have also been thinking about the interface between the concrete and the wall – the rational part of me meeting up with the barrier. I sense that the barrier represents the unknown and uncertain aspects of my future work with THE INSTITUTION.

In the dream, the water (emotional parts, flowing parts of me) has damaged the plaster wall and is allowing me to see the interior structure. The water will have its way and it is a long slow process that at times advances through sudden collapse.

Another part of the dream was about some angular limestone blocks. The angularity of the rocks reminded me of a cave where – something fell into the void – much like the formation of a sink hole in karst terrain.

It strikes me as I type this – that those angular pieces are the parts that have not yet been touched and altered by the water.

Another connection I am making as I type here this morning is that the structural engineer of me is that part that is comfortable in the dominant Zeus energy culture. She is the Athena of me – and in this dream, her services are not needed.

If you are interested in dream work – one of the finest books is Jeremy Taylor’s “Where People Fly and Water Runs Uphill.” Some of the things I learned from him are:

  • Dreams never come to flatter the ego or tell us things we already know about ourselves.
  • Dreams are never fully understood – a part always remains mysterious and hidden.
  • Dreams come in service to our wholeness and mending.
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2 comments

  1. I love Jeremy Taylor’s work. He was the keynote speaker at a conference I went to a few years back. He was fabulous.

    I’m not doing as much dream recording as I used to but every now and then a dream will come along that simply has to be acknowledged. Ira Progoff of the National Intensive Journal had a technique in his work called Dream Extensions. You recorded the dream and later sat with it and let it speak to you.


  2. Read this the day you posted it and was inspired to ask myself for a ‘structural’ dream. Last night it arrived. A very worn down victorian house — once beautiful but now aging so that only somebody who really belonged there could love it on first sight. ALL the structural pieces were parts of sacred totem poles. Every ceiling was covered with celestial frescoes. There was a fabulous garden reverting to a wild state… later in the dream the rest of the town caught fire but my “new home” remained unscathed. I woke up both relieved that the fire hadn’t destroyed this place and also intrigued to begin working more consciously with the imagery I gave myself.



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