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One year ago today – March 23, 2006

March 23, 2007

I don’t do this much anymore – but for a long time – I had a practice of looking at my life in the moment and then going back, one year, two years, and so on as far back as I could remember. The practice slipped away a few years ago – but sometimes I get an odd sense of wondering if there is something significant about a particular day. Today is one of those days.

This day last year – I left a group that carried a great sense of hope and possibility for me. I realized that by remaining – I was becoming smaller, not larger and that my desire to belong there felt just like lying down on the Procrustean Bed and having parts of me whacked off. With great courage and some fear – I resigned. Below is my resignation letter.

I am touched with how certain I was in this action even though I felt like I was severing something without knowing what would appear to fill the space. And now I realize once again, that there must be the void for the next experience to appear.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It is with deep gratitude that I look at each of the members of this
pack. Each of you as individuals and the group as a collective have
been witness and participants in my journey. I thank each of you for
the ways in which you hindered me and the ways in which you assisted
me. I needed all of those experiences to spiral down and find the
portal to the underworld.

As I surface in the middleworld – I must shed all the distractions
that keep my life small and allow me to mute the summons of my soul. I
have used listservs to connect, to gather information, to project my
wounds, to project my yearnings, and as mirrors. But my work here is
complete.

Thank you for including me.
Thank you for challenging me.

In each phase of severance – I recognize more of what I must shed.

I honor each of you for the container you provided for me to explore
my middleworld self.

Love,
Elk Woman Leader
Juicy Succulent Crone
Conjurer of the Four Directions

With gratitude for the wise self of me

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2 comments

  1. Wanted to let you know I have come back to read this post twice now. It speaks to me profoundly although it’s also very personal. Last summer, I disbanded a yahoo discussion group I had begun and nurtured with VERY strong ideals and, arguably, a bit too much stardust in my eyes. The choice to disband the group came to me very powerfully in meditation in January but I never actually followed through until the middle of summer. I felt, over time, that this was an illustration of me being too strongly resistant to inner wisdom that contained a message and context I was unwilling to receive. Now I have the insight, very powerfully, that it was much more about timing and understanding not just what had to be done, but also when. The “how” part was a little more of a rough road than I might have liked but if we “liked” all our personal growth experience, I daresay we’ve had a lot more of it ;)


  2. Thank you for sharing your experience. It gives heartfelt support to this journey to Self that we share.



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