Winter Moonset

January 4, 2007

Three years ago last night – I stood at the threshold with my father – James Nelson Clay. Although he had already slipped into a coma, I knew he could still hear me – and I knew that The Benedictine Monks of Santo Domingo were singing him into the other side.

I saw where he went. He didn’t look back. He walked right out of his body and into the light. He was happy. He didn’t look back. He was walking towards something – not away from something. He was happy. He didn’t look back. Jenny met him there and they had a joyous reunion.

The unbearable grief is bearable. My heart cracked open through the experience of Athena losing her daddy. I don’t know that I would have grown in the ways I have in the past three years without this devasting loss. It took that pain to lure me into the underworld.

Having been to hell and back – I am no longer afraid.

I read this quote on someone’s site and it is attributed to Magellan. Are you familiar with it?

The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the church

This seemed an apt summation of my journey of the past three years.


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