Acting as if…

April 9, 2006

I have been using the ACTING technique with my Elk Woman self… The woman who was the screen for my Elk Woman self – is a wise crone – and I had the opportunity to watch her interact with many people over a period of several days – I studied her stance, her words, her expressions, and when I closed my eyes – I could feel her presence…

In the Heart Warrior Council where I claimed my leadership and crone ways – I felt a transfer from her heart to mine. Since that moment – I have felt that inside me – but it was untested until this Friday…

Friday – one of my son’s friend’s Mom called me… She is a trial and a test for me ALWAYS! Just her voice raises my blood pressure – I have so much to learn from her…

When she began to weave her story designed to enrage me and pull me into her emotional tornado – I felt the Elk Woman come up from my feet – and fill out my chest – and my head rose up (and I don’t even know if cow elks have antlers/horns but I felt a crown on my head and a regal, bearing – and I listened to her go on and on for a bit… and then I didn’t react – and she escalated – and I was tempted to respond – but the Elk Woman of me – felt steady – and steadied me and I ended the conversation by thanking her for telling me how it was for her.

Now I admit when I hung up and saw my son roll his eyes – there was that emotional charge of WHY DOES SHE DO THIS TO ME? And I know she does it because I am a repository for her anxiety – and when she can transfer it from herself to me – she feels better…

This is a pattern that I learned in my family of origin and am struggling to release myself from…

So – I acted wise and calm – and in time I will be wise and calm…

on edit: Must be my active animus who claimed that rack of antlers – I swear I was a female Elk woman and I swear I had antlers…

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