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The Committee

March 6, 2006

In my preparation for my “Sweet Darkness” workshop we are journaling about heros and villains – and then recognizing the aspects of these archetypes that we willingly project out there but can’t see in ourselves.

Give me a villain – I can describe him or her in great detail and find all the shameful attributes of myself in him or her.

Give me a hero – again, no problem with the description of the attributes I admire…

But when it comes to owning those in me…
I am dumbstruck…

As soon as I start to own the heroic qualities of my projections – I hear the inner voices say “we’ll get her now… she is bragging… she is so full of who she is… and we know better… we know all her failings and all her shortfalls and all her dirty secrets and we can bring her down in an instant!”

I turn to them (they are a committee :) and say. Thank you for pointing that out about me. Yes those are things I am and have been and they developed in me for good reason. And they have served me well. And you – my committee have also served me well – by keeping me from being “too much.” But now, I need you to support me – I am growing again and I need your help. Let’s sit and read the poetry of David Whyte.

Anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you.
–David Whyte

And so the committee and I agree to disagree about the path I am on, but at least they are no longer sabotaging me!

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