Standing in the middle

I saw Salmon Boy yesterday. I told him three things and let him choose:

• Relational Shift
• Temptation
• Dreamwork

He chose the relational shift first and we were right back at square one! I thought to myself I should have quit when I was at the top of the spiral, when things were good, when I felt on top of the world… Now once again the wheel turns and I feel strapped to it as I dip below the surface once again to visit ancient wounds.

Is this work never done?

That is a rhetorical question!

When I look back to the four years of work that he and I have done together I am touched with the power of our unconscious to direct us towards our best selves if we listen. Having a trail guide or two or more is certainly part of that process.

What I realized in that relational shift discussion is that I am always guiding women and being guided by men with a strong relationship with their anima. Which led me to the temptation…

I am tempted to embrace an opportunity to descend into the red rock canyon of myself and my guide is – guess who – a man with a highly honed relationship with his anima.

Oh please!

Am I really that predictable in my efforts to mend this wounding? Apparently!

And the dream…

I am moving out of a house into a new house. Several people are helping me move. I of course am packing the things in the basement. The parents (who are me) are telling me to take or leave whatever I want. They have no attachment to me or the stuff in the house. It is my choice what I take with me to my new house.

As I let this dream wash over me I sit with the desire to do the descent with a man as my guide and the desire to face the wounded feminine (AGAIN!) here in my own space. Here or there? Stay or go?

And so I sit with it and wait for my mud to settle and the water to clear.